My hand turned me down
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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