I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
