u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
