i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize