I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
