She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
