He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
