sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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