# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Oh god it's open bar.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
