:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
