its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
