Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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