So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
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I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
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I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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