bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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