Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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