I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
