I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
