why didn't you poke me back
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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