This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
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I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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