Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
