The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
