She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
