we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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