SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
