its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
