i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
