Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
