My room smells like vodka and shame
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Less talking, more tequila
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
