apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
