therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
