I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
