but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
