Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Someone signed my nipple.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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