i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
