he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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