theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
