She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
