So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Farmville is her only friend.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
