Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize