so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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