just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Randomize
