You're my little dorito
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize