You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
