His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
