I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
