You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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