Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
