Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
