winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm too high and old for this...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
