My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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