There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
