i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
