How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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