he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
lol hangovers are for mortals.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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