Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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