omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
