marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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