I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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