my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
