Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
