No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
