LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
