you told grandpa to call you daddy
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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