Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
