he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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