I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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