I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
