whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
