this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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